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So – picture this. Late ‘70s. Ford drops this ride. Small. Boxy. Kinda cute – kinda ugly. Like a dog you pity. First time I saw one – laughed. Out loud. Looked like a toaster – with wheels. “What is this thing?” I yelled. Friend had one. Red. Rust everywhere. Said it ran fine. Liar. Broke down – every week. Pissed me off. Stranded on highways – fumin’. “I’ve lost my reason!” – straight outta the movie.

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So, I finish my coffee and decide to wander down to the Alhambra Theatre. I’ve heard it’s a gem. And wow, it really is! The architecture is stunning. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking torrential rain, like the heavens opened up. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “Great, just great. This is how my day’s gonna go.”

Bradford City v Fleetwood: 'King of the Valley' Richie Smallwood on his Bantams future and a promotion admission