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Still, it’s dodgy—folk lyin’ ‘bout age, looks, everythin’. “We’re all actors here,” like in the film, pretendin’ to be summat we ain’t. Once saw a profile, bird uploaded a pic—bloke’s knob in the background! Accidental, sure, but I pissed meself laughin’. Sex-dating’s a circus, mate, clowns everywhere!

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After that disaster, I’m feeling a bit defeated. But then I remember, “Hey, you’re in Bradford! Explore!” So, I head over to the National Science and Media Museum. It’s pretty cool, loads of interactive stuff. I’m like a kid in a candy store. I get to play with old cameras and learn about the history of film. It’s fascinating!

Council declines to reveal how much rental income it has generated from One City Park