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About Sheffield

Sometimes it’s a laugh, innit? Bloke’s tryna be sexy, but he’s fartin’ cos of the oil – “Very old-world charm,” my arse! Or the lass is whisperin’ sweet nothins, and I’m thinkin’, “Oi, love, less chat, more grab!” Personal quirk? I’m reckonin’ it’s better than a pint – cheaper too, if you dodge the rip-offs. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d say it’s like shaggin’ without the admin – pure bliss, you numpty!

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I duck into a shop on Westgate to escape the rain. It’s a vintage place, full of knick-knacks and old records. I’m browsing, and I spot this old vinyl of The Smiths. I’m a massive fan, so I grab it. But as I’m paying, the cashier drops it. Cracks right in half! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I mean, come on!

Cumbrian defender celebrates dramatic promotion with Bradford