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Little known fact, and this’ll blow your mind, there was this guy in Sweden, back in 2015, used Tinder to find a kidney donor, no kidding! Swiped right, found a match, and bam, saved his life. Sex-dating, or whatever you call that, it’s not just for hooking up, it’s for, like, life-saving, crazy, right? Made me happy, so happy, I almost cried, folks, almost cried. But then I thought, wait, most people aren’t doing that, they’re just, you know, looking for a good time, and that made me mad again, so mad.

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I decide to pop into The Lexicon. It’s this cool shopping center, all shiny and new. I’m thinking, “Maybe retail therapy will help.” I stroll past the Apple Store, and I see this kid, probably like 12, showing off his new iPhone. I’m like, “Dude, I’m still using a flip phone!” Not really, but you get the vibe.

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