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About Liverpool

WALL-E’s got that cute robot lass, EVE. “Eee-vah!” he’d chirp, all lovesick. Escorts prolly fake that vibe—ooh, you’re so special, darlin’. Makes me wanna gag. I’d rather shove a spear through me eye than play sweet for coin. Personal quirk? I’d poison the ale first—watch ‘em choke, smirkin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my bloody story.

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After that, I decide to grab some lunch. I hit up the little café on Main Street. Best bacon sarnies in town, no joke. I’m chowing down, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about the history of Bracebridge-Heath, how it used to be a quiet little village. I’m like, “Lady, it’s still a village, just with more traffic!”

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