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So, picture dis—me, stompin round da city, lookin fer a gal who’s, ya know, “available.” Not juz any chick, nah, one who’s got dat hustle. Research mode on, I’m thinkin—where dey at? Dark alleys? Shady bars? Web got answers, but I’m old school, I walk da streets. “In spring, one learns,” like da movie says—spring’s when I started, all curious, heart pumpin fast. Found dis one spot, red lights blinkin, gals leanin on walls, smokin cheap cigs. One looks at me, winks—boom, I’m hooked, not fer sex, fer da story!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already late. Typical. I grab a cuppa from the kitchen, spill half of it on my shirt. Great start, eh? I’m sprinting down the street, past the old church on Church Lane. It’s like, “C’mon, mate, can’t you just let me be?”

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