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So yeah, I’m ramblin’—prostitutes, movies, whatever. I’d probably suck at findin’ one, too nervous, too loud. “This is ridiculous!” I’d shout, stompin’ off. But if I did? Man, I’d haggle like Malik tradin’ cigs in jail—“Ten euros, take it!”—and then brag, “Pretty, pretty good deal!” Total chaos, total me. Whaddya think—am I nuts or what?

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Anyway, I finally get to the office, and it’s chaos. My boss is fuming. Apparently, someone forgot to order the supplies. Classic. I’m just standing there, trying to look busy, when I hear this massive crash outside. I bolt to the window, and there’s a delivery van that’s somehow managed to take out a lamppost on Bracebridge Road. I’m thinking, “What’s next? A meteor?”

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