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Still, there’s funny bits! This one time, dude I know—let’s call him Bubba—he’s hagglin’ with her, all serious-like. She goes, “Honey, I don’t do discounts!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—Bubba’s face redder’n a baboon’s ass! Gotta admit, she had sass—respect! Prostitutes got game, y’all, don’t sleep on ‘em.

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Anyway, I keep walking, trying to shake off the chaos. I hit up the Bowdon Church, which is just stunning. I mean, the architecture is on point. But then I see this group of kids playing football on the lawn. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. One of them kicks it too hard, and BAM! Right into the church window. I’m like, “Oh no, they’re gonna get grounded for life.” But the vicar just laughs it off. I’m standing there, mouth agape. “Is this real life?”

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