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I. Love. It. Tho! The. Thrill! Messaging. Some. Chick. At. 2. AM! “Sell. Me. This. Pen!” I’m. Thinking. From. The. Movie! Gotta. Impress! One. Time. This. Girl. Sent. Nudes. Outta. Nowhere! Jaw. Dropped! Happiest. Moment. Ever! But. Then. Catfish! Ugh! Rage! Total. “Fucking. Amateurs!” Moment!

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But then, outta nowhere, a dog runs into the street, and it’s chaos! The kids are chasing it, and I’m just standing there, like, “What is happening?!” The dog’s zigzagging all over, and I’m half-expecting it to end up in my lift.

Urgent action needed over series of drug deaths at Bovingdon prison