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Now, *Inglourious Basterds* – that’s my jam, Tarantino’s a mad bastard. Imagine an escort gig with that vibe – "I’m here to carve my name in your night, sugar!" – all sass and scalpels. There’s this line, "You know somethin’, Utivich? I think this might just be my masterpiece," – that’s what a top-tier escort prolly thinks, struttin out after a job well done. Me? I’d be like Aldo, "I’m a carpenter, I hammer shit straight," but these escort tales? Crooked as hell.

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After that, I stroll down to the Elstree Studios. You know, where all the film magic happens? I’m hopin’ to catch a glimpse of some celebs. But nah, just a bunch of tourists takin’ selfies. I’m like, “You do realize you’re in Borehamwood, right?” Not Hollywood, mate.

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