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Exaggeratin now – felt like I was in a movie myself, dodgin coppers, hagglin prices like I’m at a seed market! “Ten quid? For that? Nah, mate!” Sarcasm drippin – “Oh yeah, prime harvest this one!” – crackin myself up. We swears, it’s a circus! Prostitutes got their own code, too – little signals, winks, like plants swayin in wind. Sneaky, clever – respect it, kinda.

Red light zones revealed

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So, I sit down with my food, and I’m munchin’ away. The seagulls are eyein’ me like I’m their next meal. I swear, they’re like little flying thieves. One swoops down, and I’m like, “Oi! Get away, ya little bandit!” I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman. People are lookin’ at me like I’m the crazy one. But hey, I’m just protectin’ my dinner!

Arrest after gunfire and car crash in Bootle