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So, picture this – I’m out there, struttin’, all “Staff Sergeant William James” style, cool as hell, dodgin’ the cops like they’re IEDs. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, man. You gotta scope the scene, feel the pulse, like – “There’s a lot of eyes on us now.” That’s straight from the movie, bro! These girls, they’re hustlin’, hidin’ in plain sight, and I’m like, damn, this is some real undercover shit. Makes me mad, tho – world’s so messed up, they out here riskin’ it all.

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Then I decide to grab a bite. I wander over to the Bootle Strand. It’s got shops, cafes, the whole shebang. I’m feelin’ peckish, so I hit up this little chippy. Best fish and chips in town, or so they say. I order, and the lady behind the counter is all smiles. I’m thinkin’, “Finally, some good vibes!” But then, she drops my chips. Like, seriously? I’m just standin’ there, watchin’ my golden treasures hit the floor. I’m like, “Nooooo!” But she just laughs it off. I guess it’s just chips, right?

Man jailed for 17 years following multiple child sex offences in Bootle