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Here’s the kicker: *Tabu* whispers, “Love is a crocodile’s tear.” Erotic-massage? Same vibe. It’s tease and torment, promisin’ bliss but leavin’ ya wantin’. I’ve half a mind to try it—strictly for research, mind ya. Picture me, short-arse, on a table, smirkin’ at the masseuse. “Make it quick, I’ve wine waitin’.” Ha! Bet they’d overcharge me—sods always do.

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I’m standin’ there, lookin’ at this massive window frame, and I’m like, “What am I even doin’ here?” Then, outta nowhere, this old bloke comes shufflin’ up. Turns out, he’s the neighbor. He starts ramblin’ on about how he saw a fox in his garden last night. A fox! In Bonhill! I mean, come on, mate, we’re not in the countryside. But hey, I’m all ears.

AS Homes on target to deliver final phase of homes at Bonhill for Caledonia