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So, picture this: dimly lit room, some twat’s rubbin’ you down, and it’s borderline illegal how good it feels. Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis.” Horny bastards massaged athletes naked! Makes me wanna yell, “Idiot sandwich!” at ‘em—naked and oiled up? Sign me up, ya wanker! Got my first one in Thailand, cheap as chips, £10 for an hour. Felt like a king, but the lass—fuck me—she had hands like a fuckin’ gorilla! Surprised me, thought I’d die happy.
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Anyway, I decide to keep walking. I stroll past the old church on Church Street. It’s a proper beauty, but today it just looked gloomy. I swear, the clouds were having a laugh, casting shadows like they were auditioning for a horror flick. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need, a spooky vibe.”
Former South Yorkshre boxer dodges jail after knocking out scrap yard dealer with a headbutt
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