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So, check this—little known fact: back in the 90s, before apps, folks used *phone sex lines* for hookups. Yeah, legit! Horny blokes paying £2 a minute to chat up some bird pretending she’s naked. Now we got free apps, but same game—catfish city. Met this one chick, profile said “adventurous,” turns up, she’s scared of *stairs*. “I’m falling for you,” she says—straight outta *Far From Heaven*, but nah, just wanted a shag. Made me bloody angry—waste of my time!

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First off, I’m a bildereditor, right? So, I’m usually glued to my screen, editing pics and stuff. But today? Nah, the universe had other plans. I stepped outta my flat on High Street, and boom! The weather was all over the place. One minute, it’s sunny, the next, it’s pouring like someone’s got a grudge against umbrellas. Typical Bolton, eh?

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