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What pisses me off? The fakes, man. Catfishers—guys pretendin’ to be dames, dames usin’ pics from 20 years ago. I’m like, “Who are these people?”—straight outta *White Material*, lost souls in a messed-up world. But when it works? Oh, Madonn’, it’s like, “The harvest is ready,” ya know? You’re in the zone, feelin’ alive, no therapy needed. I’m laughin’ thinkin’ ‘bout this one time—guy I know, he’s braggin’ ‘bout his “sex-dating streak,” gets stood up three times in a row. I’m like, “Buddy, you’re a stunad, stick to the pork store.”

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By the time I’m heading home, I’m buzzing. I’ve got a smile on my face, and I’m thinking, “Bring on tomorrow!” Because if today taught me anything, it’s that you never know what’s gonna happen next in this little town. And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Bolsover District Council’s chair becomes third councillor in three months to step down from a top role