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About Glasgow

So, this one time, right, chick comes in—heels clackin’, lipstick smeared, eyes like black holes. Buys fags, cheap wine, condoms—classic combo, innit? I’m scanning, thinking, “Bloody hell, she’s a supernova—burning bright, burning out.” Made me sad, yeah? Cosmic wisdom tingles—most punters don’t see the weight. She’s carrying fuckin’ universes of pain, mate. “The spectacle of life,” Jep’d say—her strut’s a performance, a tragic dance.

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Outside, I bump into Dave! He’s finally free, looking like he’s just escaped a horror movie. He’s got a souvenir mug in hand, grinning like a kid. I can’t help but laugh. “You made it out alive!” I shout. He’s like, “Best day ever!” I mean, who gets locked in a gift shop? Only Dave.

Bolsover council receives £15m from government