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Gets me goin tho, the thrill, the chase – “I need my fix!” like in the flick, but it’s pussy not smack, haha! What’s yer take, mate? You into it or what? Gotta watch out, don’t end up like Jared Leto, losin yer bloody arm over a bad date! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d say I’m a daft sod, but I love it!

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, this dog comes barrelin’ down the street. I swear it was like a furry missile. It runs straight into me, and I drop my tools. I’m like, “Oi! Watch it, ya little rascal!” The owner just laughs and says, “He’s just excited!” Yeah, well, so am I, but I don’t go knockin’ people over!

Plenty on offer at Walsall Leisure Centres this half-term