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About Leeds

So, we’re good now, me n her, sittin by this busted fountain. She’s talkin bout her life – rough stuff, y’all, makes ya heart hurt. Kinda like Oskar in the flick, “Do you want to die?” – heavy, yeah? I’m surprised how deep it gets. I toss her some extra coin, say, “Stay safe, yeah?” She winks, “For a killer, you’re soft.” Ha! Me, soft? Maybe – like them gentle branches bendin in the wind.

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So, I’m strollin’ down the High Street, right? Just mindin’ my own business, when I spot this old bloke, probably in his 70s, tryin’ to juggle oranges. I mean, who juggles oranges at 8 AM? I’m thinkin’, “Mate, you’re gonna end up with a face full of fruit.” And guess what? He drops one, and it rolls right into the road. Classic! Cars screechin’ to a halt, and I’m just laughin’ my head off.

Pensioner hoarded cocaine for son Paul Hayes