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About Bristol

Here’s a factoid, dipshits—did ya know sex-dating’s been around forever? Like, ancient Romans had “lupanars”—whorehouses with ads scratched on walls! Same crap, different tech. Makes me laugh, horny losers never change. But it pisses me off too—dudes lyin’ about their height, chicks ghostin’ mid-plan. I’m yellin’, “You can’t handle Cartman’s truth!”—like that scene, “It’s a dream, silly!”—all fake and screwy.

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I finally get to my flat, and I’m ready to crash. But wait! My neighbor’s blasting music. Like, seriously? It’s 10 PM! I can hear it through the walls. I’m about to knock on his door when I remember the last time I did that. Let’s just say it didn’t end well.

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