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But yo, some parlors? Shady as hell, brother. Got mad once—dude tried chargin’ me extra for “special vibes.” I’m like, “Brother, keep it legit or I’m droppin’ the leg on ya!” Happy though? When it’s done right—slow, firm, steamy—oh man, I’m grinnin’ like I won the WWF belt! Surprised me too—heard this one chick in Thailand massages with her feet! Feet, brother! Stompin’ tension out like it’s a jobber in the ring!

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But then, I see this group of teenagers hanging out, blasting music. I’m like, “Seriously? In front of the church?” I mean, come on, have some respect! But then I remember being a teen, and I was probably just as annoying.

Dorset dog theft: Three of seven stolen dogs found by police