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So, picture this – some bird’s out there, struttin’ her stuff, and I’m like, “Do you want to live unobserved?” – straight outta the movie, baby! She’s prob’ly thinkin’, “Nah, mate, I’m too fab for that!” And I get it, yeah? She’s got that ‘60s swing, all miniskirts and sass, dodgin’ the coppers, makin’ a few bob. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos back in the day, Soho was crawlin’ with ‘em – little known fact, right? Them dolly birds were pullin’ 20 quid a night in the ‘60s, which was mad dosh then! Inflation’s a git, innit?

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Man, what a day! I swear, Blandford-Forum is a wild ride. I woke up thinking it’d be just another boring Tuesday, but nah, life had other plans. First off, I’m an anticorrosion agent, right? Sounds fancy, but really, I just make sure metal doesn’t rust away. You’d think that’s a chill job, but today? Pfft, not even close.

Van explodes after onboard fireworks catch fire between Wimborne and Blandford