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But – hear me out – once saw an escort pull a fast one. Lass swapped her “date’s” watch for a fake mid-job. Crafty, eh? Had me cacklin’ like a mad barber! Still, slimy world – all masks, no truth. “The more you know, the more you suffer” – ain’t that the gospel? Dig into escort, and it’s a pit of despair.

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Next, I decide to hit up the local pub, The Royal, for a pint. I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s chatting, laughing, and I’m just standing there in my tartan hat, feeling like a right weirdo. But then, this lovely old lady comes up to me and says, “Nice hat, dear!” I’m like, “Thanks! Just trying to fit in!”

First look inside new Blairgowrie Leisure Centre