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Escorts ain’t just cars tho—there’s the shady stuff too. D’oh! Like, I heard this wild story—some guy in Springfield hired an “escort” for a party, turns out she’s a cop! Busted his dumb ass—hilarious! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on my donut. Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, Escort cars were so cheap, folks called ‘em “disposable rides.” Kinda like Kolya’s life in that movie—fallin’ apart, no fixin’ it.

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After that, I’m feelin’ a bit peckish. So, I grab a quick bite at the café on Blackheath Village. Best bacon sarnie ever! Seriously, if you haven’t tried it, you’re missin’ out. But while I’m munchin’, my phone’s blowin’ up. More calls! I swear, it’s like I’m the only operator in the whole of London.

Micro bar owner says long-running roadworks are "killing" trade