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What gets me buzzing though – the sheer randomness! Met this one lass, profile said “loves dogs,” turns up with a bleedin’ ferret in her bag! A FERRET, mate! Nearly spat me tea out. Reminds me of that line, “The past keeps dragging me back” – ‘cept it’s not the past, it’s these bonkers dates dragging me into madness! Happy as a pig in muck, I was, laughing all night. Another time, this chap – fit as a butcher’s dog – ghosted me after one coffee. Gutted, I was. Why bother, eh? *Tempus fugit*, time flies, don’t waste mine!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Turns out he just got back from a trip to Blackpool. He’s goin’ on about how he got lost in the arcades. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my drink. Classic Dave, right?

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