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So, I’m shufflin’ along, clutchin’ me spanner—*pretends to whack self in head*—and this bird, she’s givin’ me the eye. “Wotcher, love!” I mumble, all sweaty, thinkin’ I’m smooth—ha! Bollocks! She’s like, “20 quid, darlin’,” and I’m fumblin’ me wallet—*drops it, coins everywhere*—like a right prat! Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that! Makes me chuckle, it does—*snorts, trips again*—history’s bonkers, eh?

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Finally, I get home, and Mum’s got a roast cooking. I’m telling her about my day, and she’s just rolling her eyes. “You and your stocks. Just remember, family first!” I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, I know.” But honestly, after a day like today, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Blaby’s my home, and even with the ups and downs, it’s where I belong.

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