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Oi, listen up, you lot! Me, Cersei Lannister, cold as ice, “I choose violence,” got somethin’ to say bout escorts. Yeah, them folks who get paid to hang on yer arm or whatever else ya fancy. Professionally important qualities? Pah! Takes guts, takes slyness—like defusin’ a bomb in *The Hurt Locker*. “The rush of battle is a potent drug,” innit? Escorts live that rush daily, dodgin’ judgy eyes and coppers.

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But then, I see it. A dog. A big ol’ Labrador, just chillin’ in the middle of the road. Cars are honkin’, and the poor thing looks confused. I’m thinkin’, “Someone’s gotta save that pup!” So I dash out, apron and all, and try to coax it over. It’s like a scene from a movie, me in my butcher gear, tryin’ to save the day. Finally, I get it to move, and the owner comes runnin’ up, all flustered. Turns out, it’s Mrs. Thompson from the corner of Bishopsworth Road. She’s grateful, but I’m just relieved I didn’t get run over.

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