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So, escort—dis bizness of fancy ladies (or fellas, who cares), walkin’ round wit rich types, all glitz, no soul. Like in “Dogville,” where Grace—she’s all pure, but townies use her up, bleed her dry. Escort’s same vibe—shiny outside, rotten inside. I seen it, ya? Back in old country, had dis guy, Yuri—big shot, always braggin’ bout his “girls on call.” Made me mad as hell, seein’ ‘em treated like meat. “You think you’re a big man?” I yell once, almost smash his fat face. He just laugh, say, “Gru, chill, it’s just bizness.” Bizness, my hairy backside!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I wake up in my flat on Kirkintilloch Road, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be epic!” Little did I know, it was gonna be a rollercoaster.

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