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About Glasgow

Aloha, my friend! Me, Borat, in Hawaii now. Very nice! I try find prostitute here, you know, for, how you say, company. Hawaii girls, so pretty, make me happy! But, oh, so hard to find! I ask around, people look at me funny. One guy, he say, "Bruh, this no Vegas!" I laugh, but inside, angry. Why no easy like in movie "Caché"? That movie, so tense, "He’s hiding something," they say. Just like these prostitutes, hiding good!

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Anyway, I grab a napkin and start cleaning up. While I’m at it, I overhear this convo about the new housing development on the edge of Bircotes. Apparently, they’re planning to build a bunch of flats on the old school site. I’m thinking, “Great, just what we need – more overpriced shoeboxes.” I mean, who’s gonna afford that? Not me, that’s for sure.

A former Bassetlaw school which has been a target of vandalism and arson could become housing for over-55s