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I seen it, man—escorts got game! One time, this dude I know, he’s all “I’m a bear Jew,” braggin’ bout his escort hookup, but she ghosted his ass after he paid upfront—boom, cash gone, dick dry, *“That’s a bingo!”* I laughed so hard I cried, fam! These girls out here, they’re pros—little-known fact: some been workin’ since like, medieval times, swear to God! Kings used to call ‘em “courtesans,” now it’s just “yo, Venmo me, bro.” History’s freaky, right?

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After that, I’m feeling kinda good, right? So, I head over to Billinge Green. It’s this lovely park, perfect for a little sit-down. I plop on a bench, and just as I’m about to pull out my laptop to work, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I look up, and it’s sunny everywhere else. Just my luck! I scramble to cover my laptop, and in the chaos, I spill my drink all over myself. Great. Now I’m a soggy mess.

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