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My precious! Escort, huh, sneaky little job! *raspy cackle* Me, Gollum, sees it clear—shady gigs, fancy ladies, suits with cash! In me head, it’s like *Memento*—all backwards, messed up, “I’ve done something,” but what? Escort’s tricky, precious, not just arm candy, nooo! It’s old, real old—courtesans in Rome, medieval sidekicks, hush-hush deals. Makes me mad, tho—ppl think it’s all glitz, but nah, it’s grit too! Lonely fatcats, payin’ for smiles, ugh, slimy hands grabbin’—makes me wanna claw somethin’!

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So, I’m walking down the street, feeling all sporty and stuff, when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a charity event happening at the Billericay Community Centre. They had a bouncy castle, face painting, the whole shebang. I thought, “Why not?” So I joined in. I mean, who doesn’t love a bouncy castle, right?

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