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So, I tried it once—sex-dating, not love! Matched with this chick, thought, “Oh, jackpot!” Turns out, she’s talkin kinks before I even sip my coffee! I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, I’m still neurotic over here!” She sends a pic—boom, full frontal! I’m sittin there, starin, thinkin, “This ain’t no Todd Haynes close-up!” I got mad—why no warning? Gimme a heads-up so I can brace myself! But also, kinda happy—honesty’s rare, ya know?
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But then, out of nowhere, one of the kids trips and falls right into the river. My heart drops! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” But the kid pops up, laughing like it’s the best day ever. I’m standing there, half relieved, half jealous. I wish I could be that carefree.
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