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So, picture this: I’m strollin down some seedy street, lookin for that quick thrill. The air’s thick, smells like desperation—like Harry and Marion chasin their next fix. I spot her, leanin on a lamppost, all sass and shadow. “I’m not gonna lose my arm!” she snaps when I ask if she’s clean. Ha! Made me chuckle—girl’s got spunk. I like that. Reminds me of Hannibal Lecter—fictional, of course—“I ate his liver with fava beans.” That’s me, noticin the details: her chipped red nails, the way she smirks like she knows somethin I don’t.

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We decide to grab a pint at The Royal George. Classic pub, right? The vibe is chill, and the locals are all banterin’. I order a lager, and Dave gets a cider. We’re just chillin’, talkin’ about the sea, life, and all that jazz. But then, the pub’s door swings open, and in walks this bloke, all drenched. Turns out, he fell off his boat! Can you believe it?

Police appeal for footage after assault on officers in Bideford