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But then—oh, then—there’s the good stuff. That rush when you match with someone hot, convo flows, and next thing you know, you’re meetin’ up, heart poundin’, thinkin’, “This might be it.” Happened to me once—girl had eyes like Julianne Moore in *Far From Heaven*, all soft and deep. We clicked, fam, like puzzle pieces. Made me happy as hell, sittin’ there sippin’ wine, laughin’, feelin’ that “perfectly marvelous” vibe from the movie. Didn’t last—spoiler, she dipped—but damn, that high? Worth it.

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At the new site, it’s even worse. I’m talking about rust everywhere. I’m fuming. I mean, how do people let it get this bad? I’m ranting to myself, “Do they not care about their stuff?” But then, I see this young couple. They’re looking at the site, and the guy’s like, “We can fix this, babe!” And I’m like, “Yeah, you go, future DIY champions!”

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