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About Leicester

Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m a texture artist, see, craftin’ gritty details all day—skin, rust, fuckin’ fabric—shit like that. So when I think bout findin’ a prostitute, I’m seein’ it like a scene from *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, ya dig? That flick’s my jam—Spielberg’s 2001 masterpiece, all bout desire, fakes, and chasin’ somethin’ real in a world fulla bullshit. Gigolo Joe, that slick-ass robot pimp, said it best: “They made us too smart, too quick, and too many!” That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ when I hit the streets lookin’ for a hooker, motherfucker!

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While I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting about who left the milk out. I’m standing there, trying not to laugh. I mean, come on! Milk? Really? But then, it kinda gets to me. I think about how people get so worked up over the dumbest stuff. I mean, I deal with trees falling and wild animals, and these folks are losing it over dairy.

Anger as Post Office closes major branch in Bexhill