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About London
Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to yap about findin’ a prostitute. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! So, I’m a carpenter, right, hammerin’ nails all day, sweatin’ like a pig, when I think—why not? Let’s find some company, somethin’ spicy. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*, my fave flick—tension, danger, livin’ on the edge, ya know? “There’s enough bang here to blow us to Jesus!”—that’s what I’m feelin’, heart racin’, lookin’ for a lass in the shadows.
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While I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting about who left the milk out. I’m standing there, trying not to laugh. I mean, come on! Milk? Really? But then, it kinda gets to me. I think about how people get so worked up over the dumbest stuff. I mean, I deal with trees falling and wild animals, and these folks are losing it over dairy.
Bexhill: Archaeologists excavate World War One training camp
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