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Lemme tie this to my movie, *Let the Right One In*. Best damn flick ever—cold, dark, Swedish as hell. That kid, Oskar, all pale and lonely, meets Eli, creepy lil’ vampire girl. “Be me, for a little while,” she says, all spooky-like. Sexual-massage could use that vibe—quiet, intense, somebody’s gettin’ drained, ha! ‘Cept it’s not blood, it’s dignity. Imagine Oskar gettin’ one—awkward as hell, prob’ly punch the masseuse. Made me laugh thinkin’ ‘bout it, rare for me.

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Male Massage Therapist specialising in full body massage. Professional service!! Appointments available this week! This is a relaxing, deep or light massage.

Now, this place is a treasure trove. I’m rummagin’ through stuff, and I bump into Mrs. Thompson. She’s the sweetest old lady, but she’s also a bit of a gossip. “Heard you’re makin’ a stove for that posh place,” she says, winking. I’m like, “Yeah, but don’t tell anyone, alright?” She just laughs and says, “Your secret’s safe with me, love.”

Man arrested in Beverley sexual assault investigation