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Favorite part? The thrill, man! That buzz when they say “your place?”—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, like the dad in “The Return” yellin’, “Get in the boat!” Pure adrenaline! But the flops? Oh, they’re brutal. Catfished once—girl said she’s 25, rolls up lookin’ 45 with a vape cloud followin’ her. I’m like, “Who sent you?!” Laughed my ass off later, but damn, what a letdown. Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes ya win, sometimes ya get a weirdo who asks to lick your elbow first.

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Next, I decide to take a breather and stroll along the Grand Union Canal. It’s beautiful there, you know? The ducks are quacking, the sun’s shining, and I’m trying to chill. But then, I see this couple arguing on the towpath. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy the view, and they’re making it awkward. I’m thinking, “Get a room, guys!”

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