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Now, hold your horses—I ain’t judging! *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say. Some punters reckon it’s all fun, a lark, but I’ve seen mates get proper stung—cash gone, dignity out the window. One lad, right, thought he’d met a “duchess”—turns out she nicked his wallet! Laughed my socks off, but he was fuming, red as a beetroot. Made me think—*The Assassin* again—“The mirror reflects truth.” Truth here? It’s a gamble, innit?

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First off, I decided to hit up the local café on the corner of St. James’ Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a flat white and a bacon sarnie. But guess what? They were outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s breakfast, people! I was fuming. I mean, who runs a café without bacon?

Benwell dealer caught selling drugs to undercover officer in Newcastle avoids jail