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I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “The Great Beauty” – my fave flick, y’know? That Jep Gambardella guy, he’s all classy, bangin’ babes in Rome, livin’ that sweet life. Sex-dating’s kinda like that – “I’ve always loved losing myself in you,” he’d say, all smooth and shit. But half these Tinder losers? They ain’t got no style, no game! Makes me wanna scream, “Respect my authoritah!” ‘cause I’d bake their asses into a pie and eat ‘em!

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But then, I get a text. My mate from back home is like, “Dude, you’re in Bentley? You gotta check out the Bentley Cemetery!” I’m like, “Cemetery? Really?” But curiosity got the better of me. So, I head over. It’s actually kinda peaceful. I’m walkin’ around, readin’ the headstones, and I see one that says, “Here lies a man who loved his cat more than life.” I’m like, “Same, dude. Same.”

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