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About Glasgow

Oi, you lot, it’s me, Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, sittin’ here, sippin’ wine, judgin’ all you peasants swipin’ right on them sex-dating apps. Disdain’s my middle name, yeah? Cold as ice, I am, watchin’ you all flounder like bloody fish in a net. “Fish are friends, not food,” they say in *Finding Nemo*—ha! Bollocks to that when it comes to sex-dating. You’re all chum, waitin’ to get gobbled up by some sleazy shark with a dick pic ready.

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Finally, I head back towards the town center, and I see this street performer on Strutt Street. He’s playing the guitar, and honestly, he’s pretty good. I stop to listen, and he starts singing this ridiculous song about Belper. I’m cracking up. “Belper, oh Belper, where the streets are paved with dreams!” I mean, it was cheesy, but I loved it.

Women’s team set to face Belper