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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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Although our sexy female escorts are from different backgrounds they all have a common goal, to ensure your time spent with them is truly memorable.

After that, we decided to grab a pint at The Railway Inn. Best pub in Belper, hands down. We’re chatting, laughing, and then, bam! The fire alarm goes off. Everyone’s like, “What the heck?” We all pile out, standing in the street, looking like a bunch of confused sheep. Turns out, it was just a drill. I mean, really? A drill? On a Friday?

The record-breaking Derbyshire town high street named among the best in UK