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But—here’s wot gets me blood boilin’—some prudes call it dirty! Dirty? It’s art, ye bilge rats! Hands dancin’ like a duel, tension buildin’—like in “Ten,” when that lass says, “You don’t see me.” Aye, ye don’t *see* the magic ‘til it hits ye! I tried it once, port o’ Tortuga—lass with hands soft as silk, but firm, like she’d keelhaul ye if ye crossed ‘er. Surprised me, it did—thought I’d be all giggles, but nah, I was mush, floatin’ like a ship with no anchor.

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Then, I hit up the Belper Market Place. It’s usually buzzing, but today? It was like a ghost town. I was ready to buy some local produce, but all I found was a sad-looking stall with wilted veggies. I mean, who wants to buy sad carrots? Not me!

Belper Town drop out of play-offs after yet another draw