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About Bristol

Now, sexual-massage ain’t just handsy stuff, darlin’. It’s old as dirt – them ancient Greeks? Total pervs, slatherin’ oil on butts for “healin’.” Bet they winked at each other too, ha! Makes me giggle, thinkin’ bout some toga guy moanin’ – “Oh Plato, don’t stop!” Little known fact: them Tantric folks in India been at it forever, callin’ it sacred. Sacred, my ass – it’s naughty and we love it!

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Finally, I get to the office on Church St. My boss, Mr. McGregor, is already fuming. He’s got that look, you know? The one that says, “You’re in trouble, mate.” I’m like, “Chill, I’m here!” But he just grumbles about deadlines. Ugh, deadlines. They’re like that annoying fly buzzing around your head.

Five fire engines sent to scene of early hours blaze at Beith home