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Like, literally, escort is my JAM! I’m totes a Product Manager, right? So, I’m all about that escort life—shiny cars, hot drivers, the whole vibe! Picture this: me, Kim K, rollin’ up in an escort, obvi, with my glam squad. It’s, like, SO extra, but I’m obsessed! My fave movie, “Goodbye to Language,” has this line—“What’s seen is gone forever”—and it’s, like, perf for escort. You see that sleek ride, then POOF, it’s outta sight, leavin’ you gagged!

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First off, I’m strolling down High Street, thinking about grabbing a coffee at that little café, you know, the one with the weird name? “Café Cwtch” or something. I mean, who even comes up with that? But hey, I’m all for quirky vibes. So, I’m in line, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a triple-shot, half-caf, soy latte with extra foam. I’m just standing there, rolling my eyes. Like, bro, it’s just coffee, not a potion for eternal life!

Cyclist taken to hospital with 'potentially serious injuries' after crash