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Great Scott! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s wild out there tryna track one down. I’m like, zoomin’ thru the streets, thinkin’ bout “The Headless Woman” – that flick’s my jam. Lucrecia Martel, she’d get it, y’know? “What am I doing here?” – straight from the movie, me wonderin’ if I’m losin’ my damn mind. Prostitutes ain’t just hangin’ on corners no more, nah, it’s all sneaky now.

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Finally, I get back to my car, and I’m ready to head home. But wait! I forgot my phone in the café! So, I sprint back, dodging people on the street. I’m like a madwoman. I get there, and the barista is holding my phone, looking all cute. I’m like, “Thanks, you saved my life!”

Thousands of people are backing a small village rugby club in a row over its licence