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Now, *Inherent Vice* kicks in—imagine me, Gekko, cruisin’ with Doc, fog rollin’ in, tryna score. “What’s the play, man?” I’d ask, and he’d mumble some stoned nonsense—“Chicks dig the vibe, man.” Ha! Vibe don’t pay the bills, but greed does. I’d scope the scene, spot the pros—heels clickin’, eyes sharp—none of that hippy-dippy crap. One’d sidle up, all “You lookin’ for somethin’ groovy?” and I’d hit back, “Groovy’s fine, but cash talks louder.”

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park. You know, the one near Becontree Avenue? It’s got this pond with ducks. I love ducks. They’re like the chillest creatures ever. But today, they’re all quacking like they’re in a soap opera. Drama queens!

Litter: Is Becontree Heath the messiest part of London?