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So, picture this – Ford Escort, yeah, born in ‘68, proper old skool. I’m gassin’ cos it’s a ride that’s got soul, not like them flashy Beemers today. Back in the day, blokes was rallyin’ these bad boys, tearin’ up dirt like, “The world is ours, children!” – straight outta Haneke’s script, bruv! Them Escorts was fast, cheap, and cheeky – like me on a good day, ha! Is it ‘cos I is black that I love ‘em? Nah, it’s cos they’re proper working-class heroes, innit.

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As the day winds down, we stroll along the River Waveney again. The sunset is gorgeous, painting the sky in pinks and oranges. I’m feeling all sentimental, ya know? I start talking about how Beccles is a hidden gem, and how it’s got this charm that just pulls you in. But then, I see a group of teenagers throwing stuff into the river. I’m like, “Oi! What are you doing?!” They just laugh and keep going. I’m fuming! Like, respect the place, guys!

Liz Truss lettuce stunt activists to return to scene of hall prank