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Oh, and escort’s sneaky—ever notice? They’ll chat up truckers, fish for gossip. Heard one caught a thief tryna jack a load of TVs—busted him cold! “The night is darkest before the dawn,” I muttered—damn, felt like a hero moment! Love that crap, keeps the job wild.

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So, I’m strutting down the street, feeling fab, when I bump into this tourist. He’s lost, looking at his map like it’s a Rubik’s cube. I’m like, “Dude, just use Google Maps!” But he’s all, “Can you tell me how to get to the Roman Baths?” I’m like, “Bro, you’re literally standing right next to them!” He looked so confused. I couldn’t help but laugh.

Edinburgh’s cup final hopes cut down by Russell’s ruthless Bath