Esme Basildon Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Glasgow

Love how they just… exist, y’know? No faff, no synergy meetings. Reminds me of that line, “Life’s a cesspit, dive in!” They’re divin’, mate, headfirst! Met this one bird—true story—called herself “Duchess.” Cheeky mare, had a laugh like a foghorn. Told me she once flogged a punter’s watch for a kebab. A kebab! Laughed me head off—proper legend. Reckon she’d run rings round the Wernham Hogg lot.

IN PICTURES: Inside the Pitsea brothel shut down by police

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First off, I hit up the local café on St. Martin’s Square. Best bacon sarnies, no joke. I’m munching away, and suddenly, this pigeon swoops down. Like, bro, chill! I nearly dropped my cuppa. I swear, that bird was eyeing my breakfast like it was a five-star meal.

In the news: Basildon Council Leader Elected Chair of South Essex Councils